Dads get less "me" time

And that's a good thing

Here’s the truth about dadhood: you will have less time to do the things you want to do.

Contrary to the narrative presented to us in popular culture that depicts this crossroad in our lives as some horrible, limiting event, I believe it’s a good thing.

Here’s why…

Men are prone to habits of excess. Video games, drinking, working long hours, playing sports, watching sports, and so on. Granted, excess can be a good or a bad thing depending on the context. For instance, excess time at work can be great if you’re close to finalising a big deal with a client. Excess turns into a bad thing when extended time at work becomes the norm.

But my point is that men are programmed to take on a lot of different interests and hobbies and also let those things consume our lives.

However, when you become a dad, you quickly find out that you have less time for all of your interests and hobbies, so you’re forced to cut the proverbial fat and ask yourself the question:

“What do I really want to do with my limited spare time?”

sometimes, that begins with prioritising what you don’t want to do.

For instance, I watch far fewer sporting events now than I did before I was a dad. Similarly, I watch almost zero shows, save for the odd rerun of The Office or It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. People talk about shows at work and I have no idea who or what they’re talking about.

(Side note: it feels great to not feel like you have to keep up with pop culture.)

Once you figure out what you don’t want to do, you can focus on what you want to do. For me, weekly attendance at church, playing baseball in the summer, and going to the gym or on a ruck at least once a week are non-negotiables.

I’ll end this post on the tyranny of choice, a psychological term that describes the phenomenon of being weighed down by too many choices (which can also be understood as too much freedom).

We live in a world that has deifies personal autonomy and being able to do what you want, when you want to. But the way I see it is that too many choices — too much free time — makes us miserable and unable to focus on one thing long enough for it to have a positive impact on our lives.

Children help us overcome the tyranny of choice and home in on the people, hobbies, and interests that actually matter.

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